Tuesday, August 12, 2008

How To Get Into Man's Head

It said that if you want to get into a man's heart, you have to start by getting into his head. But the problem is, most men have a hard time to open about their thoughts and feelings. But guess what? There are 5 techniques on how to make a man feel more comfortable opening up to you that will develop better communication and relationships. And I myself agree to all 5 techniques because I observed it from husband and I would say it really works.

1. Let him know you care about what he is saying. I do agree with this. Because a man will surely share what he feels when he know you really care. By hugging or leaning on him while allowing your eyes to meet his in a natural way will let him know you are really interested on what he is saying.

2. Be nonjudgmental. A man won't ever open up when he feels you are just going to criticized him. Give him the freedom to express himself openly and honestly without judgment and you'll be surprised at all that comes out. You don't have to condone or agree with everything he says. You're simply creating an environment where he has the freedom to say it.

3. Don't use the word "why." Because "why" questions mostly sounds negative and critical. Just like when you ask a man, "Why did you do it that way?" it sounds like "Are you stupid". So practice using substitutes such as "Tell me more about it" instead of "Why did you do it?"

4. Never say, "We need to talk." Nothing makes a man want to talk less than hearing "We need to talk." It conveys the message that he's done something wrong, he's in trouble for it, and you are going to let him have it. He will shut down before the conversation starts. The best way to bring up an important topic is to ease into it. Choose a time when you are both doing a small task together such as light cleaning or cooking, which takes the harsh focus away from "the talk" and will make him more comfortable.

5. Learn how to really listen. Chances are you always listen to him but you don't always hear him. How many times have you had something else on your mind as he is talking to you? Or maybe you are thinking about what you're going to say next instead of paying full attention.

It's important to stay in the "hear" and now with him, rather than letting your own thoughts or the outside world intrude. A man can sense when you really want to hear what he has to say -- true listening is the best way to get him talking true to you.

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